Lila's Birth Story

7AM. I woke up feeling cramps and I didn’t think much of it. If anything, I felt bothered by it. It felt like I had eaten something bad and I needed to use the washroom, so I did. I tried going back to sleep but the cramps persisted. 

9AM. We had breakfast and called Lucy. She said that if I’m not feeling tightness all over my stomach, then it is pre-labour so I should carry on with the day. We were thinking of going to Karura and I was a bit hesitant but decided it would be good to get out despite real discomfort.

11AM. Ad goes for a run with his phone and I go for a long walk in Karura with Nay and Tay to the waterfall. I’m pretty slow and struggling, so I don’t go down to the waterfall but sit on the bench and get asked if I’m ok by a passerby. I say yes, but I’m really uncomfortable at this point. I still don’t think of myself as being in labour.

12PM. After a long, slow (painful) walk, we meet Ad at River Cafe and I ask if we can just go home for lunch. Ali is in town and needs massage recommendations and I can barely get through a convo with her. We fill up gas and head home.

1PM. We’re home for lunch but I am really in pain now. We call Lucy again and she told us that we can start timing contractions which felt like really intense period cramps. I don’t think we do a good job in this.

2:30PM. I tell Ad that I want to lay down because the contractions (which I was still thinking was pre-labour because I didn’t feel it all over my stomach yet) were coming in strong and really, I just wanted to curl up in a ball. 

Ad and I are lying in bed and during a contraction I hear a pop and a large amount of liquid gushes onto our white comforter. Alarmed, I say “I think I peed. Or my water broke.” Maybe in that order, or not. Ad is also alarmed and calls my mom right away. She rushes in and without hesitation, smells the liquid and confirms that it’s not pee. My water just broke. Things just got very real. Ad calls Lucy again who says to get me bouncing on the ball and timing contractions. I am really just going through the motions and don’t realize the magnitude of what’s happening.

I get into the shower to freshen up, which makes the contractions feel so much more tolerable. Note to self: Lying down in fetal position is not the way to get through contractions. The hot water felt 100!  Eventually, I get out, put on “labour clothes” aka sports bra, adult diaper, and kaftan. 

4:00PM. I’m bouncing on the ball and being fed stir fry vegetables and rice (Lucy’s orders also include making sure I eat and drink). The ball also feels so much better than lying down did. I was really doing this all wrong. I start needing someone to hold my hands and/or put counter pressure on me through every contraction. 

4:30PM. Lucy arrives and I try to give her a smile. I switch to standing and leaning over the kitchen counter during contractions so that I could get more counter pressure because the back (and butt) pressure was where I felt it the most. We had the affirmations there and for some time, Ad gave me a different affirmation after every surge. I pretty much stayed here and also tried walking around for a bit while they prepped the pool. 

5:30PM. Eventually I make my way into our room where Ad had music playing and then into the pool which I was quite excited about. I kneel in the pool and completely freak out during my first contraction there because I had been handling all prior contractions standing and had no idea how to get through them in the pool. I try to get out but Lucy firmly tells me to stay, so I pout and do so, taking some time to figure out that holding someone’s hands but leaning backwards and moving my hips forward is what works. I guess that was my body trying to counter the extremely low pressure in my back. 

At some point, my mom and Lilian start taping up my affirmations and I just felt like there was so much commotion in the room. I didn’t feel relaxed and asked for our room to be quiet, leaving Ad and I to it. 

All the while Lucy and Lillian were taking baby’s heart rate. When I was standing during contractions, I had to sit and lean back, and when I was in the pool, I also had to lie back. These were painful. Sometimes when I’d move, the contraction would come faster and I would panic because I wanted to be in my ready position when the contractions came. 

What did these surges feel like? They would start off slowly then quickly peaking, staying there, then slowly retreating but leaving me breathless. I 

Time is a blur, but also at some point, Lilian had me stand and put my arms around her neck. When the surges would come, I would lean forward, and she would apply counter pressure. This also felt amazing. The back/butt pressure continued and eventually I told Lilian that I really needed to push. I had been saying this a few times and there were contractions where I actually could not help but push and would feel Lila moving down a bit. 

Lilian called for Lucy and Lucy told me that we could do an internal check at this point. I told her that we could if it was necessary, remembering that Yvonne said she didn’t have any internal checks. They looked for some body signs and I heard Lucy tell Ad to look for the line on my back. We didn’t do the internal check and they had me back in kneeling position and told me to breathe through contractions. I heard Ad say “really?” and heard the bustle of folks getting ready for me to push and for baby to come. 

I breathed through a few contractions kneeling while having my arms around Ad’s neck and remember asking if I could now push and Lucy said yes, so that’s what I started doing. 

After what I thought were just a couple contractions, I felt Lila’s head come out! And then the contraction would end and I felt her head recede. This was tough and happened at least 3 times. I asked if they could just pull her out and everyone laughed at me, but I was 100% serious. Feeling her head come out just burned every single time and I couldn’t help but vocalize what I was feeling. I knew that I was crowning because there was a lot of energy in the room and encouragement. Lucy said they could see the hair and asked if my brown hair was dyed. They also asked if I wanted to touch her head but I said no.

Eventually her head came out without me really realizing, or maybe I did because it must have been a more painful burn. Ring of fire! Lucy asked me to turn and lean back and this is exactly not what I wanted to do. I said I couldn’t do it but I was told that I have to. So turn I did. I asked if the head was out and they said yes! 

9:12PM. After a few surges, Lila was born. I felt so many emotions at once: relief, disbelief, happiness, love, all of the emotions! And also burning, I felt lots of burning. I remember thinking “I did it. I did it?” 

Lila was very calm, just resting in my arms, not crying. She was perfect and filled me with so much more love than I could have ever imagined.